(Insert title here)

I'll admit, I totally forgot about this till the last day I was supposed to type this up because of prom preparations, so to all you underclassmen, don't do what I did haha. Anyways, I found this testimony that I wrote a while ago for something that I don't remember, but it was probably during a very dark time. I also tweaked it because the one I wrote didn't make sense to me as I typed it.

  An imperfect person like me doesn't deserve to be loved or even shown love. However, that doesn't stop God from loving someone even like me. God didn't hate anyone, and that's because God is love. He chose to love me, even though I was unfaithful, sinful, and not what I should be--a true Christian. Sure, no one is defined as a "true Christian", but I am far from being the ideal Christian. My life clearly doesn't reflect what Jesus' life was like. However, God still loved me anyways. He showed me love that no one ever showed me. 

  I personally believe that God's love comes in multiple flavors, the first one being grace. God loved me so much that He showed me grace by dying on the cross for me. I live a pretty sinful life and I probably don't deserve to talk to God, but because I know that Jesus died for my sins for me, I can experience his graceful love. I feel so dirty at times and so full of sin, but I know that God still loves me with love that I don't deserve. He heals me in my sicknesses, calms me when I am troubled, forgives me when I am not worthy, and even shows me miracles here and there. 

  The second type of love is his abundant love for me. The many times I sinned against Him, the many times he showed his love for me still. There were many times in my junior year when I felt really distant from God because I put myself in a place where I thought I wouldn't bother God. Boy was I wrong. His love stretches from the east to the west; there is no place that you can go to where His love can't reach. Because His love is so vast and incomprehensible, I still don't understand His love, yet still accept it, because it is by HIs love that I am forgiven and saved. 

  There are many more types of love, but in short, His love is summed up as my redemption from eternal separation from Him. If you ever feel like you don't deserve His gracious love, you're wrong. When Jesus died for us, He paid the price for us so that we could be loved by being with our Creator forever, if that made any sense. 

Anyways, this song was played really frequently during my junior year because it just reminded me of who God really was--someone who was waiting with arms wide opened for us. I was really broken that year, and even as I listen to the song now, it brings me to tears.

Hopefully I didn't bore you with that testimony, but that's what was on my heart so I put it on pen and paper. 

Have a little mercy

Hello children! My name is Edwin. For the most part, I am a pretty easy going person. So recently, I had a run into a conflict at FCBC the other day. So if you didn't know, fcbc hosts open gym volleyball (every first Thursday of each month at 7:30pm) and most of the people that go do not attend fcbc. So every week you walk into the MPB(gym) and you sign up on these white boards and basically there was this one person( lets call him Tyrone) who thought I had cut them.  So imagine a 5 foot 3 guy walking around trying to act all tough and pro.He got really worked up and you could tell he was annoyed and pissed off(maybe at me, I'm not sure). But anyways, trying to be the nicer person, I offered to let him go ahead and sign up ahead of me. He then shook his head angrily, puffed his "buff" chest and grabbed the marker to write down his name. So he actually didn't get to play first. The whole time I was playing I could almost feel his gaze(pretty sure he was dogging me the whole night) and imagine him thinking " this dumb kid screwed us over ". I'm not sure why but it really bothered me that he was so cocky but could barely hit over the net. He really got under my skin and after I had gotten home, I could not stop thinking about how childish he acted, given the circumstances.

Now what does this have to do with anything???? Going to back to Johnny's talk about mercy, after reading Ethan's post, I definitely felt a little guilty for not showing mercy and compassion. Maybe Tyrone had a really bad day? Who knows but maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to judge and showed him the mercy that God has shown us. Undoubtedly, we are so undeserving of God's grace and yet he still sent his son down on the the cross to save our sins. Leading to good Friday service which is tonight at 7:30pm. Hope to see you there!

JonnyTalk_Grace_Contentment

Last week in HiKoi we had a Jonny Talk on God’s grace.  Jonny talked about how grace is getting something (good) that you don’t deserve.  And begun to unpack how often we neglect to see all the good things we’ve been given though we never did anything to deserve them, namely a relationship with God Himself through Christ.  He used a simple abstraction to illustrate.

Abstraction (1)

As Christians many of us have had the mentality to find something bigger than ourselves, something or someone worth living for, and we yearn for a life that is more satisfying than the one we are living for now.  And in this yearning we turn to God.

"I Want God"

But what would our mentality be if as Christians we became a truly selfless people?   Perhaps we’d be a people who would draw all people (me, you, us, them) towards God, and all would desire for God.

"Want God"

But what if we as Christians, on top of being truly selfless people, were also content?  What if we didn’t really want anything in particular because we were happy knowing that we have and will always have everything that we need?  In selflessness and contentment, we’d find the one that makes selflessness and contentment possible because He is so graciously good.

“God"

Dude..Jonny’s so deep.. 

End of Abstraction (1)

In my mind, it sounds something that his brother Matt would say.  Also kind of like Pastor Dan.. Also kind of Tim Keller-y...I digress.

Jonny also talked about how this is has been relevant to his current circumstance: not getting into any of the schools he wanted to get into.  Though disillusioned from the whole process, Jonny said that he’s been recently comforted in the fact that God is in control of his future.  Jonny said even though he didn’t get what he wanted, God has good things planned for him, and for Jonny that thought has been freeing.

The one thought I had circling my mind while Jonny was speaking about grace and contentment I’ve shared once before.  But I’ve always been challenged by the thought that on the night which Jesus was betrayed, He took bread and gave thanks.  If it were me, I would not be thankful.  I would not trust God knowing that the Father would deliver me to be crucified the way Jesus was.  And yet Jesus understood that the Father wanted good things for His children.  And because of that underlying trust in the Father, Jesus was grateful for everything the Father provided.  Even the small things like bread.

In life, God will not give us everything we want, but even in times of disillusionment He asks us to trust Him.  When we ask, “Why am I in this circumstance?”  He asks us to remember who He is and what He has done.  (In three words: Good and Plenty) #Candy?  He asks us to let go of the things we have no control over, and to let God handle them.  He asks us to trust and obey.  

Accept grace, friends.  Be content in Christ.

That said happy Passion Week!

Ethan

God AMAZES

You guys, rejection sucks. I've been feeling rejected by one of my friends lately. No matter how many times we chat or I ask her to hang out, I always get shut down. Why doesn't she like me?! (Maybe I'm trying too hard.) 

Then someone reminded me about how this is only a tiny glimpse of how God feels about us. Or our parents and us.  

My parentals. They love me sooooo much.

Or me and my hubby. 

When he first asked me out, my exact thoughts were "ew, no." I know, how could I resist this face?

Sigh. I was thinking about this when we were talking in Hi Koi about how God AMAZES us. Who else would still welcome us with open arms even though we don't want to spend time with Him? Or love us even though we've sinned again and again even though we promised we wouldn't? Or what about those times when we fell asleep in service in His House on His day? 

What also AMAZES me is how He will always love us, no matter what. 

"Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." - Psalm 106:1

From Stella

Hello Hi-Koi! 

Just in case some of you don’t know me- my name is Stella and I’m a counselor in Kristy’s small group (#glamour). If you attended Sunday School, yes, my dad is Uncle Hon. If you were in Acteens, yes, my sister is Christine. But I’m more than who I’m related to! I was once a high schooler. I wanted to get good grades and go to a good college. I volunteered at the hospital. I joined clubs like speech and debate.  I had a crush on a guy in my math class. I didn’t like a few of my teachers. The list goes on. So I want to tell you about probably my biggest transformation in high school and I hope it resonates with several, a few, or at least one of you. 

Here it is- I realized God had given me a voice. I’m not referring to singing well because I sing quite horribly and off-tuned. I realized that God had made me as I am and that includes my opinions, my thoughts. God knows all my thoughts, even future thoughts and thoughts I don’t say out loud, so I could be real with Him. There’s no such thing as saying the wrong thing to God. Before high school, I would rarely talk to anyone who was not my friend. I wasn’t trying to be unfriendly because sometimes I would want to talk to someone who seemed alone. But I was scared to say something stupid or the wrong thing, scared of rejection, scared of making a bad impression. And so I would stay quiet and sometimes I wished I had the courage to say something but I brushed it off. I can’t pin it on one day, one epiphany but God started to help me let go of the insecurities that would keep me from talking. Rather than holding onto the standards of my peers or of popular teenage culture, God started teaching me to hold onto the truth that I have immeasurable value in His eyes. 

So if there is something you are holding onto that stresses you, that keeps you from doing what you truly want to do, that kind of eats away at you- I encourage you strongly to ask God to help you realize that you are His child and to help you to hold onto Him more tightly than anything else in the world. 

Thank you for reading! If you ever want to talk to me or want me to pray for you, don’t be afraid to talk to me! See you at Hi-Koi!

Hikoi Feels, Nikkis Perspective.

Hai, hello, annyeong,  Hikoiers. I thought long and hard on what to post this week and in the end I came to the thought of telling you he story of how I came to be an sg leader and how I feel about it now. so I hope you can read till the end but I understand if you cant due to my horrible grammar and lack of creative writing, my apologies. well then lets get started...

Once upon a time, there was a girl ( that girl is me ... tehe) and she went by the name of Nikki. She was an average girl who lived with her family of five in a small house in the land of Temple City. She attended one of the most prestigious high schools of her time apart from Arcadia and San Marino. She also went to a very well know church called First Chinese Baptist Church in Los Angeles. She attended fellowship on Friday nights when she started her high school years and she loved it. The fellowship was called hikoi. she started going at first because she got to meet her friends who she couldn't she during the week  because they lived in different kingdoms. But after a while of going she started to enjoy it not only for the happiness it brought her through friends but also the peace and joy it brought her spiritually. she felt more content and learned more about herself as she continued her high school years while going to church every Friday night. Later one day everything changed. she was taken aside and asked an important question that would change her life forever. she was asked if she wanted to become an sg leader. she was given time to make her decision but in that time she had a difficult experience in making up her mind. she went to her mom for advise and her mom told her to uplift them to God, that he will be able to solve your problems for you and to just put your trust and faith in him. And so she did and prayed for days and then her answer came to be a simple yes.

wow wasn't that just the best story you have ever read ? jkjk but yeah that how I became an sg leader in a short story format. But to tell you the truth I did really have a difficult time deciding on wether or not it was a good idea to become an sg leader just because of fear and the thought of not being good enough. But now I feel as if I made the right decision. Becoming an sg leader has played a big part in my life even though it has been a short period of time, but in that short period of time it tested my faith and pushed me to rely on God more and im thankful for that. There are a lot of highs and lows in becoming an sg leader I think, but there are highs and lows in everything. a high is that I got to meet and build close friendships with people I would have never thought I would talk to, and I also get to help a little group of fantastic kiddies whom make me smile every Friday. a low point would probably be planning every week and being able to think of what to do that can fit the sg, but it is a challenge I am willing to take any day. :) well enough said I think, I don't really have anything else I can think of. Thank you for your time in reading this, and my apologies again for my terrible grammar mistakes. Have a good rest of you week. :)

Why does Katie like prayer so much?

This question was asked to my dad – of all people, and then he later passed it on to me.  Initially, I laughed about it and was pleasantly surprised by the forwardness of the individual.  Yet, when I actually paused to think about it, I realized that the question is completely legitimate to ask.  

I haven't always been so into prayer.  I knew prayer was important, and I needed to do it in order to spiritually grow; however, I didn't see the relevance or effectiveness of prayer in my own life for the longest time.  This all changed during the week of July 3-11, 2010.  

The week in July was when I was asked to lead HSMT in prayer while in Arizona.  I apprehensively took on the role, but I was full of doubt and questions.  How would I have been able to lead a group of high schoolers in prayer?  What did it mean to be a prayer leader?  What made me equipped to fulfill this role?  How could I lead effectively when I knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?  Thankfully, in my insecurities, that was when God was able to glorify Himself.  “For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but You are strong,” 2 Corinthians 13:9a.  

In Arizona, I realized two significant things (among many):

        1. Prayer works

        2. Prayer is powerful

In the week of interceding for the Navajo, leading prayer times, having numerous chit chat/prayer times with the high schoolers, and observing our youth initiating prayer with one another on their own accord, I could not help seeing prayer as the answer to any situation we came against.  This was the first time that I witnessed a direct correlation of our prayers to the events that transpired during the missions trip.  

Following the week, prayer became more and more of an infatuation and addicting to learn about until 2012 when I realized that empowering the youth to pray can lead to a change in our world.  Prayer is the only avenue that can move God's hand in our world.  Imagine if ALL the youth in your generation were completely enamored with God, active prayer warriors, and persistent in their prayers!!  How would our world look today? 

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” 2 Timothy 1: 7