But God

What does it mean to be on fire? What does it look like? What does it take to say that you are passionate for anything, much less God?

We often talk about wanting to be on fire for God. We sing it. We pray and seek it for ourselves. On the rare occasion, we even pray it over other people.  

We are so often enamored by the idea of being on fire that we forget exactly what it is that we desire for ourselves and, more importantly, where it comes from, or what fuels it. I fear that, should Satan ever place something in our lives that looks like being on fire and feels like being on fire, we would be thoroughly and utterly fooled. I fear that we are completely content to look like we are on fire on the outside and to feel as if we are on fire on the inside, all the while being unknowingly led further from God and His purpose.  

And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.  But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 

Ephesians 2:1-8

I think that this passage should stir our understanding of salvation. It’s not that Jesus sees us drowning and waving, swims out, and brings us back. Paul doesn’t write that. Paul writes that we weren’t flailing and struggling in our sin. We weren’t yelling out to be saved. We weren’t doing any of those things because we were dead in it. The accurate picture is that we were dead in our transgressions and Jesus dove into the water, pulled our lifeless bodies out, and breathed His grace into our lungs so that we may come back to life and live for something more. 

In looking back at my life, I notice moments where I see now that I was dead and I didn't even know it.  I had grown so comfortable with sin in my life that I was okay with living in it. I didn't want to change. I didn't want to leave some relationships. I didn't want to stop abusing substances. I didn't want to leave my addictions. And little by little, Satan was taking me out to sea. But God made us -- made me -- alive together with Christ.

BUT GOD...how beautiful is that. That in the midst of our trials, in the middle of our misery, in the depths of our sin, God interrupts with His love. 

In high school, my family fell apart and my grades were shot. I was unmotivated and depressed and I was about to give up BUT GOD, who is rich in mercy, brought me out. 

In college, I struggled with my identity and finding community. I was drowning in lust and addiction and I felt like all the progress I had made in high school was disappearing BUT GOD, because of His great love, pushed me forward. 

After I graduated, I was confused with God's will for my life and I wandered away from Him seeking my own way to what I thought was success, BUT GOD, even when I was dead in my wanderings, showed me that He had a plan and purpose for my life.

If you were to ask me today where my fire and where my passion for God comes from, I would tell you about my BUT GOD moments. I would tell you how, while I was dead in my transgressions, dead in my sin, in the pits of it all, Jesus dove in and pulled me out. That while I wandered from Him and was lost in my own path, He walked in and led me out. That is where my passion for living for God comes from.

What are your BUT GOD moments? Can you say that you were dead and God saved you? Or do you still not know that you're still dead, still in sin, still comfortable in your plan and your ambition? 

We ask to be on fire for Jesus an awful lot. But can we be on fire without truly knowing who lights it? Can we be on fire when we're drowning in an ocean?